Susanne Remic is a primary school teacher, freelance writer and parenting blogger. She writes at Ghostwritermummy and Maternity Matters and in between all of that she regularly wins mummy of the year awards for running around after her two children, aged six and 19 months. This is her pregnancy blog: an online diary of her third pregnancy as she strives to overcome two difficult births, one angel child and one awkward toddler. Join Susanne as she shares every step of her journey from bump to baby!
Something strange happened to me...
By Susanne Remic on 27 Sep 2011
Something really strange happened to me. I never thought it would. I honestly thought that I would never feel this way again. How could I? Please don’t tell my children, but... well, I think I sort of, well- I LIKE going to work, ok? I was convinced that returning to work after having my son was the most awful form of torture and that I would never consider myself lucky to have a career.
I was convinced that I was the most unlucky person in the world to have never won the lottery (or even bought a ticket, as it goes) so that I could give it all up and be a Stay At Home Mum. I was convinced that Working Mum was a bit of a bitch, actually.
I don’t know when or how it happened, but I realised recently that I am enjoying my job once more. Maybe I was teaching in the wrong year group last year. Maybe it was just that little bit too soon. Maybe it is the fact that I will be on maternity leave again in a couple of month’s time...
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve always loved being a teacher, but after my son was born actually being at work seemed like a ridiculous notion. How could I commit to caring for 30 other children when my own children were at home for me to care for instead? How could I leave the house so early each day and return with boxes full of marking, laminating and sticking? How could I plan a series of fulfilling, creative lessons that tick all the boxes the government require and cater to all learning styles, without missing my children so much? Where would I find the time?
I don’t think I will be working full time again for a while. But at the moment, something strange is happening- I am looking forward to the end of the week. The end of the week signals work for me and means that I get to put on smart (ish) clothes and get to be Mrs Remic instead of Mum. I get to do different things, speak to different people and engage with some brilliant young minds. I wouldn’t swap it for the world...
Will it last? Will I see my imminent maternity leave as merely another little break in my career whilst I get my figure back and, hopefully, catch up on some sleep? Or will I dread that return to work and plead fruitlessly with the husband to downgrade to a smaller house that doesn’t require two steady wages to keep? Will we even be able to afford double childcare costs? Will I even have a job to go back to?
There are so many uncertainties and only one thing for sure. At the moment, I am loving my job. I love teaching and I love having my precious time at home with my children too. For me, maternity leave is looming a little too closely and I can’t quite imagine giving up this little routine we’ve fallen into.
That’s the strange thing. Before, I couldn’t wait for endless days on maternity leave. This time, I know the reality is going to be a lot more hard work than that! For now, I think I will make the most of being pregnant and still able to climb stairs without having a rest halfway up. Maternity leave is a long way off yet- and I want to keep it that way.
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