Dan Roberts is a therapist and wellbeing coach - each week he will be answering iVillagers’ questions on health and wellbeing. If you’re stressed, anxious or suffering from low mood, feeling generally stuck, frustrated, unhappy or unwell, Dan can help. Check in every week to read his latest words of wisdom.
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Tackling anxiety
By Dan Roberts on 21 Feb 2011
Question: Dear Dan, I have always been a bit of a worrier but recently it has spiralled out of control. I’m under a lot of pressure at work, my relationship’s a bit rocky and I don’t feel I have anyone I can talk to. All my friends are either pregnant or have babies, so that’s all they seem to think/talk about. I feel anxious all the time, keep waking up with thoughts racing round my head and I’ve had two panic attacks, which are really scary and horrible. Last time I actually went to A&E because I thought I was having a heart attack. I really need some help - what should I do? Thanks, Sally
Dear Sally,
I’m sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment. Panic attacks can be extremely frightening because symptoms like a racing heartbeat, chest pains and hyperventilating can make you feel as if you are really ill. It’s not uncommon for people with panic attacks to end up in A&E, only to be told it’s anxiety-related.
- Let’s tackle those attacks first. Remember that, although they are extremely unpleasant, panic attacks are not harmful in any way. If you do feel another attack building, remind yourself of this. It can be helpful to write something like ‘This is just anxiety, which cannot harm me. It may not feel very pleasant, but it won’t last long and I will soon feel better’ on a piece of card, so you can read it and reassure yourself when your thoughts are racing.
- To counter the hyperventilation, breathe for a slow count of 1, 2, 3 in and out until you feel calmer (this can also really help whenever you feel anxious or upset). You may feel like you’re not getting enough air, but when you hyperventilate you’re actually getting too much oxygen, making you feel dizzy and lightheaded. Slow, deep breathing is the answer. And focus intently on something like the second hand on your watch, or count something like tins in a cupboard or shoes in a shoe rack - this will distract you from the anxious thoughts and feelings until they quieten down.
- It sounds like you’re worried about various aspects of your life, all of which are feeding the anxiety. You say you don’t have anyone you can talk to, but is there one especially trusted friend who could offer some help and support? If so, don’t put on a brave face - sharing your concerns can really help. You may also need to talk to a counsellor or get some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), which is the most effective talking therapy for anxiety. Talk to your GP, who will be able to help. If you want to see someone privately, see www.babcp.com to find a cognitive therapist near you.
- Cut out caffeine completely for a while, avoid fizzy drinks and sugary foods and drink alcohol in moderation. Regular cardiovascular exercise like jogging, cycling, racquet sports or brisk walking will all help you feel less anxious. Find relaxing exercise you enjoy like yoga, tai chi or swimming and pamper yourself with massage, aromatherapy or other soothing treatments - these all stimulate the ‘relaxation response’, which will make you feel calmer and less anxious.
- And remember that anxiety is very common, so don’t feel embarrassed about asking for help. Be kind to yourself, take it one step at a time and you should start to feel better soon.
Best of luck with it all,
Dan
www.danroberts.com
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