Taking a sickie - the top 10 excuses

If we're honest, most of us have indulged in the occasional white lie in order to 'pull a sickie'. In fact, the first Monday in February is often dubbed 'national sickie day', when staff are most likely to take an unofficial day off. But as careers expert Judi James warns, it can be a tricky tightrope to walk.

I've got a bad cold/cough

This is a classic that works a treat if performed correctly. Make sure to set it up with some groundwork, maybe a headache two days earlier, which develops into a throbbing pain the following day. Staff that live near their work should stay indoors as getting spotted gorging on pastries in the local bakery isn't advisable.

And, as Judi James notes: 'The biggest giveaway is someone ringing in for you, when your 'illness' wouldn't normally prevent you from picking up the phone. Your boss has to collude with your lie, saying things like "Tell them to get better soon", which makes them even more angry.'

It's a flu thing

Flu isn't a bad cold, it is high fever, fatigue and aching muscles, although symptoms are sudden and a three-day bout is feasible. Even making the sickie phone call would be hard work with a genuine dose of influenza and, as one manager recalls: 'My PA called with 'the flu' before breezily mentioning she was popping out for fresh air. With flu, she'd barely be able to get out of bed. That was the last sickie she pulled for some time.'

Headache from hell

According to a survey by employment consultancy Croner, 77 per cent of employers believe a migraine is an acceptable excuse for a day off work. Interestingly, fewer colleagues (65 per cent) found it suitable.

Food poisoning

'I ate some dodgy seafood' is often enough to convince. The problem for employers is that it is difficult to tell if it really is a 24-hour bug, with no warning and few obvious after-effects. But, as Judi James explains, the giveaway is offering too much detail. She says: 'Liars over-elaborate, so instead of just mentioning a stomach upset, they go into huge detail, including each item of food consumed.'

My child is sick

This is an area where employers will generally give leeway but if the claim is untrue, a lack of groundwork can cause embarrassment, if for example, the child you are supposed to be looking after rings the office to speak to you!

A morning in mourning

Unbelievable as it sounds, funeral attendance is a commonly-used excuse for absenteeism. Particularly unscrupulous employees have been known to invent a favourite aunt or uncle, but being able to stick to the story is vital. Indeed, it is not unheard of for a grandmother to have 'died' on five different occasions over a two-year period!

Waiting in

You've had a gas leak, the washing machine has flooded the kitchen, pipes have burst or there's a leaky roof. It might even but true but these particular excuses carry their own hazards. 'It's the Othello Factor,' says Judi James. 'Othello interpreted Desdemona's nervous body language as guilt instead of anxiety over his accusations. Even when genuine, the pressure of thinking you could be perceived a liar could make you sound untrustworthy.'

Travel hell

Bad weather during winter months, train delays, car trouble or an accident en route are all excuses that can be used. But make sure your story tallies with where you live. It's no good having a cheeky lie-in, trailing in two hours late then seeing a colleague who takes the same train as you sitting there, having arrived at 9am on the dot.

Tropical topics

Returning from holiday with a mystery ailment is a popular trick. However, be careful not to go over the top by claiming to have contracted malaria or some other potentially fatal condition. A simple 'I've picked up a bug' or 'I got bitten and need a day to absorb the medication' will suffice.

Wrong trousers, wrong day

While most of the above are excuses that can be pulled off with a certain element of confidence in their feasibility, there are some that just don't wash. Like the worker who rang in one day to tell his manager he 'thought it was Sunday so won't be in this morning'. Honest, but not very clever.

See also:

• What career suits your personality?