Our straight talking Lancashire lass takes a sideways look at the daily news.
'Text Neck' and other modern malaises
Today, with all the mod cons at our finger-tips we should want for nothing. We can communicate with people anywhere in the world at the touch of a button. We can access information about anything just by logging on. Things are just so easy. But with all this advanced technology comes a weird cornucopia of modern malaises.
Take ‘text neck’, a condition that results from spending hours hunching over a mobile phone or iPad sending texts, checking Facebook and engaging in online mobile guff.
Chiropractors are concerned that people who spend most of the day peering downwards at their hand-held devices run the risk of permanent neck damage and could end up with arthritis. Interestingly, people who frequently wear flimsy underwear are also at risk of getting arthritis, so you can imagine what the cast of TOWIE will look like 50 years down the line: orange, hobbling hunchbacks in Ugg Boots and glittery iPhones.
Excessive texting will deform our very skeletons. Yak. But it’s not just our bones that are affected by modern times. Psychologically speaking, social networking is wreaking havoc on our psyches.
‘Facebook Addiction Disorder’ is a condition defined by spending hours and hours on the social networking site to the point where it affects the user’s life. Worried that you’re a Facebook addict? Check the symptoms:
Tolerance– where, like crack cocaine, one has to increase the dosages just to maintain a normal functioning level.
Withdrawal– If a Facebook addict goes cold turkey they experience palpitations, sweats, nausea and delirium. Remember the scene in Trainspotting with the dead baby on the ceiling. It’s just like that.
Getting high– when a user gets poked (in the Facebook sense) they experience a sense of elation that gives them a buzz. Maybe they should try getting poked in real life, they might enjoy it even more.
No sense of reality– the further down the Facebook rabbit hole the user falls, the more disconnected from reality they become. They spend their spare time glued to their computer. They stop talking and begin ‘interfacing’. They have virtual dates with virtual friends. They walk their virtual pets in online parks, and decorate their virtual houses with virtual furniture. Meanwhile in real life they turn into pasty fat computer zombies.
Then there is another modern malaise, ‘Smiling Depression’ – people who suffer from depression but who have decent jobs, active social lives and who just smile their way through it.
Unfortunately people who bottle their problems and battle their way through bouts of intense feelings of anxiety and self-loathing tend to end up with all sorts of problems – stomach ulcers, high blood pressure and general feelings of prolonged misery. It’s no way to live.
So what is the solution to these modern conditions? Mental illness aside, I’d suggest that getting out more tends to work. Now excuse me whilst I update my Facebook profile to announce that I’m about to make a cup of tea…











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