The 10 worst first date moves you can make

The first date is that all important dating acid test, where you’re sizing each other up. If your first date goes well, it can be a great experience that leads to something special. But if it doesn’t it can end up being a night you’ll never forget, for all the wrong reasons. To increase your batting average of great first dates, take heed of these 10 terrible dating moves, from eHarmony’s relationship advice expert Jules Filsell.

1. Lie before you’ve even met them

If you’re going on a blind date, or you’ve met online, this is the ideal way to get off on the wrong foot with your date. You might be tempted to shave a few years off your age by posting an old photo on your profile, or embellish your job perhaps, but you’ll soon be found out. And when your date realises you’ve lied, your chances of a second date will be pretty much zero.

2. Wear something you’ve never worn before

This might sound like a weird one, but a first date is all about being in your comfort zone so you can be your absolute best. Therefore, this isn’t the time to try out that new pair of heels that might give you blisters, or a new top that might leave sweat patches. Stick to what you know; after all, there’s nothing sexier than someone comfortable in their own skin (and clothes!).

3. Choose a bad location

This follows on from point #2 about being comfortable. If you’re picking the date location, don’t make it somewhere you’ve never been to before. For one thing, no one wants to start their date traipsing around, lost. Also, if you get there and it’s closed/packed/terrible, you’ll need a back-up plan fast.

4. Talk about yourself non-stop

Nerves can really make your mouth run away with you, and that can lead to one of the biggest mistakes you can make on a first date – talking about yourself non-stop. A first date should be about getting to know someone – it’s not a job interview, so don’t treat it that way! If you do realise you’ve been doing this on the date, don’t worry, you can turn the situation around simply by shifting your focus back onto the other person. Hopefully they’ll realise you were just a bit nervous.

5. Say nothing

Just as nerves can make you chatty, they can also make some people monosyllabic. If you’ve ever tried to have a conversation with someone who’s clammed up, you’ll know what hard work that can be. If you know you’re the kind of person who ends up lost for words on dates, then do your homework. Gen up on everything you know about your date (talk to friends, re-read past correspondence) and prepare some back-up questions. We know it’s not ideal, but it’s a lot better than saying nothing!

6. Be a grumpy pants

Your date is not your therapist; they don’t want to spend their precious spare time listening to you go on about how much you hate your job, your so-called best friend or your Mum’s meddling. Happiness is attractive, and even if you’ve had the worst day ever at work, you need to fake it till you make it. That doesn’t mean you have to be Little Miss Sunshine, but don’t bring down the conversation with negativity.

7. Get sloshed

We all know that alcohol makes you do silly things. Whether that’s falling over on the way to the loo, forgetting your date’s name, or crying over your ex, it makes you do things you’d never normally do. By all means have a glass or two of wine, just don’t extend that to a bottle or two…

8. Over share

There’s nothing wrong with a little mystique, at least at the beginning of the relationship. There’s also nothing wrong with keeping the mood light for at least the first couple of dates. With that in mind medical problems, evil exes, past addictions and the state of your finances aren’t good topics of conversation on a first date.

9. Have wandering eyes

Hot guy just walked in? Attractive woman on her way to the bar? Ignore them at all costs. Your date is your focus. Simple.

10. Get too touchy feely

Remember, this is a first date, not a third. And you’re certainly not a couple yet. Mild flirtation is great, with the odd knee touch, or brush of the hand, but anything more and you might look a bit desperate. That includes the end of the night lunge – it’s not dignified, and a little peck will do if you want to show you’re keen!

At eHarmony we know that searching through thousands of pictures and profiles of other singles can be a disheartening experience. This is why we use our Compatibility Matching System (TM) to match you with other like-minded eHarmony members. The people we introduce you to will be deeply compatible with you, on important levels such as your values, sense of humour and energy levels. Register for free today!