The breastfeeding backlash: is breast still best?

'Breast is best, but stress is worse.' These are the words that my GP said to me when I eventually admitted defeat during the rollercoaster ride that was breastfeeding my son.

After successfully breastfeeding my daughter for seven months, it was more than a shock when things didn’t work out the same way with my son. I felt terrible and, at the time, was convinced that other people were looking on me with pity and/or scorn. I had to put my four-month-old son onto formula and I felt like the worse mother in history. I was also the only mum at my National Childbirth Trust (NCT) baby group who was not breastfeeding.

My son was born with severe Gastroesophageal Reflux, which means that the sphincter at the top of his tummy does not close properly after eating. He is also lactose intolerant which, before it was diagnosed, made for a rocky ride during feeding. I was eventually advised to stop breastfeeding in order for my son to gain weight and avoid hospitalisation. So why did I feel so guilty?

I felt that breastfeeding was the only option for my son and I suffered terrible guilt at being unable to provide for him. Breast is best. That’s what the leaflets, posters and magazines tell you. That’s also what the NCT used to say too, until their recent turn around in breastfeeding policies. I read this article with interest and have to admit to feeling slightly baffled.

So maybe breast isn’t best, after all? Or perhaps, there is finally some acceptance towards the women who, for whatever reason, cannot breastfeed their babies?

Policy change

Still pondering the issue, I popped onto the NCT’s website to read their take on the policy changes and found a refreshing statement from Belinda Phipps, the charity’s Chief Executive:

'Our breastfeeding counsellors can help when you are using formula as well as when you are breastfeeding...it takes a lot of training for our practitioners to have the necessary expertise to help women with breastfeeding. Our counsellors listen, provide suggestions and support for parents using formula too.'

In my experience, listening to an individual woman’s circumstance makes for a much better counsellor, but how far do the changes go to support new mums who are undecided about breastfeeding?

This is a position I have unwittingly found myself in recently. Not wanting to repeat the same feeling of failure as last time, I have struggled to decide whether or not I want to breastfeed my new baby, who is due in less than a week. My midwife has told me it would be a shame not to, my GP has told me to watch out for signs of reflux and lactose intolerance once more and my husband has told me to go with whatever method I am comfortable with. The problem is that nobody seems to be telling me that breast is best anymore.

Breastfeeding backlash?

It seems that there is a breastfeeding backlash. Recently, a friend had a photo of her son breastfeeding removed from a page on Facebook. I felt outraged on her behalf. I’ve read about women being asked to leave major department stores to breastfeed somewhere else. I’ve seen demonstrations of breastfeeding mothers in protest to such ridiculous censorship and I’ve heard derogatory comments aimed at these women.

I myself have felt uncomfortable breastfeeding in certain social situations; I actually worked hard to get my son to drink from a bottle so that I could ‘retain my dignity’ while out and about.

Are we really still so unable to socially accept breastfeeding as normal? And do cases such as these help women like me to make a coherent decision about breastfeeding? I’m tempted to think that it is easier to just buy a carton of formula, keep my head down and avoid conflict.

Personal choice

In the end, the decision is mine. The NCT has updated its policies to allow women to feel comfortable in their decisions but is it really doing this just to attract ‘less posh mums’? Are organisations like Facebook right to censor photos of women performing one of the most natural acts in the world? Do other people really need to look, or pass comment on a woman feeding her baby? Do I really need to feel ashamed or exposed if I choose to breastfeed my baby?

For the record, I shall be breastfeeding my baby. I probably won’t be posting photos on Facebook, but that’s a personal decision and nothing to do with their outdated censorship policies.

Also, for the record, I cannot tell you whether or not it will go smoothly or whether I will encounter problems once more. I also don’t know whether or not I will receive the right kind of support I need to keep going. Breastfeeding backlash or not, it seems that there are still too many high-profile organisations that insist on giving out the wrong message to new mums.

Breastfeeding is a personal choice and should not be presented as anything else - whether you are for or against it, let mum decide for herself.

See also:

• Breastfeeding support and advice
   
• Susanne Remic's regular blog on iVIllage.co.uk