Our straight talking Lancashire lass takes a sideways look at the daily news.
Before the fame was the prattery…
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It’s a quiet day news-wise, so I thought I’d delve into the past antics of some of the stars and celebs gracing the papers at the moment.
First off was singer-songwriter Adele. The unlikely pop princess has released a string of mega-hits, and she has even managed to beat Madonna’s record for the longest album by a female solo artist to stick at number one. Beating the veteran Queen of Pop was no mean feat, and Adele definitely deserves a lot of credit for this. But was she always the musical go-getter that we see today?
In a word, no. In fact Adele admitted in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine that she was nearly expelled from stage school for being lazy, unmotivated and nursing a chronic sleeping-in habit. Thankfully she’s got her act together, gets up on time, and we can enjoy her fabulous music.
But what about the stars of TOWIE? Surely they have always been a collective paragon of purity and elegance? Erm, not so. Just check out this rather dreadful TV pilot ‘Totally Essex’ from before the show was commissioned…
Oh my bleeding eyes! The gel! The dialogue! The pure cheesiness! “No skirt is too short, no contact is too blue, and no tan is too orange…” Did these morons seriously think that short, brightly coloured characters from Willy Wonka will ever be a good look? Do they not understand that for the most part we’re laughing at them?
It’s like a horrible version of MTV Cribs. And for the record Mark Wright makes my skin crawl. Something about him makes my skin actually start to itch. I look at him and think ‘virulent rash’.
But it’s not these only orange monkeys with far too much money (and no style whatsoever) who have murky media pasts. Check out this Pringles advert staring Hollywood legend Brad Bitt.
I think this is kind of sweet. You clearly shouldn’t come between a hungry Mr Pitt and his beloved crisps, even if you’re a bikini-wearing model. And it doesn’t make me want to commit atrocities in the way that ‘Totally Essex’ does.
Well at least Kate Middleton didn’t make the same mistakes – her behaviour (and Prince William’s) was and continues to be impeccable. Don’t believe us? Ask their old landlady.
And that, my friends, is that for today. Enjoy the sunshine, I know I will!
