Our straight talking Lancashire lass takes a sideways look at the daily news.
The great gaffes of Prince Philip
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If a doddery old man who looked like a cross between Victor Meldrew and an ancient tortoise perved over a younger lady in front of his embarrassed wife, no doubt onlookers would be cringing. ‘Dirty old man!’ we’d think, before shrugging off the wave of nausea. Enter Prince Philip…
He’s the national embarrassing uncle! The one who causes mortification at family dos. Who sits in the corner drinking Benedictine and shouting at random passers by. Who bursts into racist, sexists rants at the drop of the hat. Who probably has a well-used back-catalogue of Razzle dating from 1976 hidden beneath his four-posted bed. We know the type.
I think the Queen gave up being embarrassed by Prince Philip’s buffoonery long ago and just gave up caring. But we didn’t.
The Royal Family are relatively scandal-free these days (not counting the recent nastiness over Prince Andrew’s ongoing friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, a billionaire paedophile who is currently servicing time for soliciting prostitution). By comparison, Prince Philip is harmless. But still… lock up yer daughters when he’s on the prowl!
Quote: 'I’d get arrested if I unzipped that dress'
Twenty-five year old Hannah Jackson had turned up to meet the Queen and her bumbling hubby in Bromley, South London. She was wearing a (rather nice) red dress with a zip down the front, as is the fashion of the day. Prince Philip mistook her for a Razzle Calendar Girl. I can’t imagine that having Prince Philip undress you with his eyes is a pleasant experience. Shudder…
Quote: 'Do you work in a strip club?'
Prince Philip turns on the charm with Navy sea cadet instructor Elizabeth Rendle, by asking if she worked in a strip club. Then he asked if he knew her from somewhere. Razzle, possibly. June 1977 issue, perhaps?
Quote: 'It looks like a tart’s bedroom'
When asked what he thought of the interior décor of newly-weds Fergie and Prince Andrew, he stated that it looked like a tart’s bedroom (which to be fair, it probably did), adding: 'It reminds me of that ghastly September issue of Razzle in ‘76. Now where did I put that nice little bit of crumpet?'
Quote: 'That’s a nice tie… Do you have any knickers in that material?'
When presented with a new Tartan design, created specially for the Papal visit to the UK, the first thing that flashed into the Pervert Prince’s mind was ‘KNICKERS’! Which stands to reason.
So what do you think? Dirty old man, or national treasure?
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