The happiness workshop: week two

Have a happy attitude to life and you'll cope with its ups and downs

Happy mind
Your state of mind hinges not on what happens to you, but how you respond to a particular event or happening. Some of the happiest people also face some of the biggest problems. If you think and feel happy you'll be able to cope with whatever life throws at you.

Feel happy about yourself
Self-esteem is a cornerstone of contentment and feeling good about yourself is the most effective strategy for life-long happiness. If you want to be happy:

Rethink the past. You may have received childhood messages that you were bad, naughty, fat, ugly or unpopular. But childhood messages get distorted, and in any case are not true about you as an adult. Take a clear look at yourself now and decide, once and for all, to forget those past negative messages. Remember: you are who you are and you are wonderful.

Let others be kind to you. If you're low in self-esteem, you'll find it impossible to register the numerous ways in which the world tells you you're wonderful. You'll think you don't deserve compliments. Start being open to that smile from a friend, that thank you from your partner, those hugs from your children. Stop and note these statements of others' belief in you - receive their compliments and allow yourself to believe you're worth it.

Be kind to yourself. Let's say someone close to you was beating themselves up over a situation. You'd support and comfort them and remind them of all the things they did right. Do the same for yourself and give yourself a mental pat on the back whenever you do well, a sympathetic word when you feel bad and a round of applause for a good try. Reward yourself with treats - at least one thing a day that you enjoy that's just for you.

More resources:
How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Dr Paul Hauck (Sheldon Press)
Visit the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy website for details of counsellors in your area who can help you raise your esteem.