Susanne Remic is a primary school teacher, freelance writer and parenting blogger. She writes at Ghostwritermummy and Maternity Matters and in between all of that she regularly wins mummy of the year awards for running around after her two children, aged six and 19 months. This is her pregnancy blog: an online diary of her third pregnancy as she strives to overcome two difficult births, one angel child and one awkward toddler. Join Susanne as she shares every step of her journey from bump to baby!
The terrible twos
By Susanne Remic on 27 Oct 2011
I often joke that my son reached the terrible twos the moment he was born. Or, I should say, I used to joke that. These days, the terrible twos are no laughing matter. My son has them and he has them bad. He can throw tantrums to rival the noisiest, angriest kid in the whole of trantrum-ville. We have the terrible twos and I don’t like it!
I’ve mentioned before how different my son and daughter are. I remember clearly the daughter’s tantrum. She was about two and we were in Asda. She wanted something she couldn’t have so she started to complain with long, whining wails. She dropped to her knees, classic style, and beat her little fists on the floor.
My husband and I looked at each other, then calmly stepped over her and carried on shopping. I’d read the advice somewhere and it worked. After ten seconds or so she realised it was futile and calmly carried on shopping with us. That was it. There have never been tantrums since. Don’t get me wrong, she can be a grump but she doesn’t ever scream or shout like some children.
The toddler is different. He has mastered the scream. He has a good grip on legs when he wants to be picked up. He can push you in the direction of something he wants. He can wail, cry and moan until he is red in the face. He can tantrum. We’ve never seen anything like it before. My son can get himself so worked up that you think he is going to explode. His beautiful little face gets so red that he resembles a tomato and his little stamping feet would put River Dance to shame. It’s awful.
This weekend, things came to a head when we realised he was punishing daddy for going to work. The toddler and I got up at 7.30 Saturday morning and had a lovely hour or so together, playing, reading stories and watching television. Then daddy got up and all hell broke loose.
The toddler turned into a possessive demon, demanding that daddy play with him only. He pushed his sister off daddy’s knee and insisted it was his knee- and he was staying there. This went on throughout the day. My husband was busy moving furniture upstairs whilst the kids and I played, painted and danced happily. Then daddy would come down for a cup of tea and the toddler turned into demon child once more.
Something clicked. I instructed my husband to leave the room whenever he threw a tantrum, rather than giving in and sitting immobilised or becoming embroiled in a long game of tickles that ended only when the toddler decided hell had frozen over. I think the toddler needs to know that tantrums will not be rewarded with daddy’s precious time. Rather, we worked on making a huge fuss when he was playing nicely. It worked!
I’m not saying that the toddler isn’t still going through the terrible twos, as he is. BUT my husband and I are not suffering as badly. We are ignoring the screams and even- as long as he is safe- removing him from the room and letting him calm down elsewhere. I’m hoping that by the time the baby arrives, we are even more confident that we can quash these tantrums easily. Wish me luck...
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