Things you miss from pre-parenthood life
Doing things on the spur of the moment
Becoming parents turns even the most spontaneous of us into strategic planners. While it makes day-to-day life easier, it's also natural to miss the freedom of being able to grab your purse, your keys and run.
Actress Kate Hudson puts it this way: 'I feel like my son needs his routine - but for me I need to step out of my routine.'
The trick is to allow yourself some flexibility: for instance, skipping toddler group on a glorious day, and having a picnic in the park instead. While your days still have a framework, everyone needs to be impulsive once in a while.
A buzzing social life
Regular nights out might be consigned to history - for now. However, time spent with close friends doesn't have to mean old-style booze-ups (a third of us reckon hangovers are 'unbearable' with kids around anyway, according to a ReadyBed survey).
Getting together for coffee, over lunch, or even just for a walk in the park help to maintain those vital ties. While it's important to hook up with fellow new mums, there's nothing quite like time spent with old mates who know the real you.
Being able to splurge on yourself
While browsing in Zara might be a rarity these days, it's still important to reward yourself occasionally. 'It is possible to have treats galore without draining the bank balance,' says financial coach Simonne Gnessen, author of Sheconomics (Headline).
'Indulge yourself with a tiny inexpensive treat - your favourite flowers, a soothing foot soak or an enticing novel.' Studies suggest that these feel-good treats are often more satisfying than a mega-splurge - because we don't feel guilty afterwards.
Grabbing a take-away when you can't be bothered to cook
You might miss those low-effort evenings spent with a chicken chow mein in front of the TV. However, a huge benefit of home cooking means you'll eat more healthily, too - slashing your intake of saturated fats, sugars and salt in the process.
When we learn that the average Chinese take-away contains roughly the amount of calories as nine Mars bars, reserving them for the occasional treat doesn't seem like such a hardship.
Those long phone conversations with a friend
It's a known fact that small children are allergic to the sight of a parent on the telephone. It's about wanting 100% of your attention, while you're desperately trying to catch up with a friend.
Your child starts demanding a drink and a biscuit, while you try keep a grip on your adult conversation - no wonder everyone ends up feeling disgruntled.
Weekly emails might work better in helping you feel connected to your friend - or schedule a call for when your partner takes your child to the park. Those lengthy chats can still happen. As with most aspects of being a mum, they just take a bit more planning these days.
Time to do your own thing
As a parent, your own hobbies are probably the first thing to slip off the agenda. Yet, in studies about what makes us happy, 'flow activities' feature highly, as we tend to feel at our most content whilst doing them.
These are activities which engage us fully such as playing sport, a musical instrument, or doing something creative like painting (we are unlikely to experience 'flow' while involved in passive pursuits, such as watching TV).
So get out your diary and carve out some time for your hobby. You'll feel mentally nourished - and so your whole family will benefit too.
Going to the loo by yourself
Remember those heady days when even your partner didn't know what went on behind that closed bathroom door?
These days, your children either demand to come in with you, or bash on the door ('My five year old's favourite tactic is to waggle his pirate sword through the gap under the door while I'm peeing,' admits one iVillager).
Frustrating, yes - but if it's privacy you crave, have a soak in the bath once the kids are in bed. And bear in mind that, one day, you will actually miss your entire family cramming themselves into the bathroom with you (yes, really).
Spending ages getting ready
So you can no longer spend twenty minutes creating the perfect smoky eyes. On the other hand, isn't it liberating to be able to do your face, hair and get changed, all in ten minutes flat?
'I can't believe I used to spend upwards of an hour getting ready,' admits mum-of-three Sara, 39. 'It's out of the question now. But I couldn't be bothered anyway. I've whittled down my make-up to four essential items - tinted moisturiser, dark brown shadow, brown mascara and a natural pinkish lip. It feels pleasingly streamlined and takes me two minutes flat.'
Carefree holidays
Remember those holidays when the biggest decision you had to make was which cocktail to pick from the menu? Jaunts with the kids in tow might lack the relaxation factor - but they are important for bringing you closer together as a family, without the interruptions of day-to-day life.
The key is to not go away with expectations of a fortnight's lounging. Instead, try to accept that family hols are a different kind of fun, and that they help to create precious memories for all of you.
Eating out together
Couples manage an average of fifteen nights out together during the first five years of parenthood, according to the ReadyBed study. So what's stopping you getting out more? Lack of cash and guilt about asking people to babysit, say the researchers - so no wonder meals out are a thing of the past.
Childcare needn't cost, though. If you form a babysitting circle with local parents, you can all grab the odd night off. After all, every couple needs some uninterrupted time together in order to feel human again.
Long lies-in at the weekend
All parents feel exhausted sometimes. As Gwyneth Paltrow puts it: 'Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys, I'm so tired.' While lying in bed till lunchtime might be unfeasible, it makes sense to allow each other to catch up on lost sleep.
It needn't be a points-scoring mission, either: ie, 'I've only had two lies-in so far this year. And I calculate that you've had 36.' It's more a case of, 'I can see you're tired, and need extra rest - and that's fine with me.' A little generosity goes a long way.
Spontaneous sex
When you're both feeling weary, and fear that you might be interrupted, it can seem as if sex is more hassle than it's worth. Yet maintaining a sense of intimacy is vital when it comes to feeling like a couple, and not just shattered old mum and dad.
Try to make the most of your child's nap times by sneaking off to bed together - and remember that, while 'anytime, anywhere' sex might be tricky these days, kissing and cuddling are not.
It's a sense of feeling cherished and desired that's important. And, even though you're parents now, that's something you never need to lose.
Next Up: Has becoming a parent changed your personality?
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