Things you need to stop doing now you're a parent
Being a potty-mouthed driver
Freya was driving to Newcastle airport when Joe, her toddler, started shouting, 'Uck-sake.'
'We were running late,' Freya explains, 'and I'd been cursing the whole way. By the time we arrived, a glossary of swear words was firmly imprinted on his mind.'
Perhaps due to our fraught lifestyles, children are picking up naughty words earlier than ever (42 per cent start swearing by the age of three, according to an Australian survey). For such tense situations, it's handy to have substitutes up your sleeve - such as 'crivvens' or 'jings.' While they might sound oddly 1950s, surely it's better than having a cursing kid?
Trying to keep your car immaculate
While we're on the subject of driving, it's worth mentioning the in-car debris which accumulates at an alarming rate. Sure, you can wage war against the crisp crumbs, the slowly mouldering apple cores and juice spillages - but it may be easier to accept that this is the way things will be for now, and booking the platinum valet service in about 15 years' time. Looking on the bright side, if ever you feel peckish while driving, at least there are always plenty of morsels to snack on.
Discussing sensitive matters in front of your child
Children only have to hear a whisper of an adult discussion to demand the entire back-story: 'Why aren't auntie Sue and Uncle Chris getting on? Are they getting divorced? Will YOU ever get divorced?'
Naturally, we'd all prefer to avoid this kind of scenario. 'We've started discussing sensitive stuff in our ropey school French,' admits mum-of-three Carla, 41, 'although this is becoming trickier as our eldest son now knows a bit of French too.' Of course, that's what nights out - and babysitters - were made for: to splurge all those conversational topics we've been storing up for weeks...
Trying to keep a pristine home
Aiming for pre-parenthood standards at home is futile and frustrating. It eats up vast amounts of time when you could be playing with your child, and is a prime trigger of couple rows, too.
'I decided that life is too short to be constantly picking up and tidying all day,' says Karen, 40, mum to girls of eight, six and four. 'Now, instead of running around after everyone, I get the kids to help with a speedy clear-up before dinner.' Bear in mind that having fun is what your children will remember about growing up. In the great scheme of things, who cares about having a crumb-free carpet?
Hanging out with friends who just don't 'get it'
While most of your child-free friends still play a huge part in your life, you may find that the odd one doesn't 'get' your new lifestage. Perhaps she doesn't seem interested in your baby, or handles him as if he's a bomb and likely to explode in her face. If the friendship is important to you, do give her a chance - perhaps babies were alarming to you too, before you became a mum. However, if getting together feels sad and awkward, it may be better to back off and accept that things have changed - at least for now.
Making snap judgements about other people's kids
As adults, we can be guilty of judging others before we really know them. Often unwittingly, we pick up clues based on appearance, accent and behaviour, and conclude, 'They're not my kind of person.' Children don't do this. They don't care about Amy's clothes or haircut - all that matters is that she's fun to play with at school. As parents, it's important not to let our own preconceptions get in the way of those vital early friendships.
Being too proud to ask for help
As new mums, we often go all out to prove we can 'do it all.' Yet accepting help often makes us better parents, simply because we feel supported, less alone - and are therefore happier. Never feel guilty about asking a friend to give you a hand. In time, you'll reciprocate - plus, when it comes to close buddies and family members, chances are they are desperate to be involved. As celeb mum Denise van Outen puts it, 'I'm lucky because I get a lot of help from my mum - I appreciate my mum more now.'
Partying every weekend
Ouch - that hangover. These days, you have to at least put on a show of being bright and perky - or be racked with guilt if you have to slope off back to bed. It's not all bad news, though. 'It has to be a really special occasion for me to drink these days,' admits mum of two Cheryl, 35.
'But it's actually more fun than the constant tippling I used to do with colleagues - which just merged into one and made me feel constantly under par.' Remember spending every weekend feeling dry-mouthed and faintly poisoned? That's one thing we don't miss...
Having high-maintenance hair
Gone are the days when you can happily manage a hairstyle which demands tons of product and fuss. The perfect mummy-cut looks good when allowed to dry naturally, is beautifully cut so it just falls into place, and keeps you cool when you're rushing around. A cute crop is super-easy - Halle Berry works hers to perfection - and a sleek ponytail (as favoured by Beyonce and Gwen Stefani) makes looking good a breeze.
Berating yourself for not being perfect
Do you keep awarding yourself a 'must try harder' on your imaginary parenting report? As mothers, it's easy to focus on our failings rather than the brilliant things we do every single day. As Madonna once put it: 'Having children made me realise that making the world a better place starts at home.' Remember that, to your child, home really is the best place on earth - and you mean the world to her. When it comes to parenting, doing the best you can really is good enough.
Next Up: 12 awkward parenting questions and how to answer them
So your child’s asked one of those questions that stops you in your tracks.
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