Top five relationship problems

By Susan Quilliam

Money, sex and arguments are at the root of most couples' discontent. Susan Quilliam tackles the most common relationship problems

My partner's having an affair. Is this the end of our relationship?
'I've discovered my husband's been unfaithful with one of our closest friends. The past few days have been a horrendous mixture of rows, tears and recriminations. He says he still loves me, and I still love him, but everyone I know tells me to just walk away. Is there any hope for us?'
Lisa

Infidelity doesn't have to spell the end for a relationship. Yes, some partners have affairs because they want out of the relationship, but for most people, an affair is a wake-up call. It's a signal that they're not happy, but if the relationship changed they would stay. In some cases, a relationship is strengthened by an affair as both partners have had to face and work through the problems in their relationship.

Affair action plan
News that your partner has had an affair will shock. Don't make any hasty decisions about your future, however much other people pressure you to do so.
Your partner needs to agree to stop seeing his (or her) lover - if they refuse, walk away.
Once you're over the shock and can talk calmly with your partner, try and talk through the reasons for the infidelity.
Think about the question: what needs to change in your relationship for infidelity never to happen again?
Couples counselling can provide a neutral and supportive environment to talk these difficult issues through.

Read: After the Affair by Julia Cole (Vermilion, £6.99).

Maria Schwent (not verified) replied 4 weeks 5 days ago

If you want to save the relationship, try to build an emotional bond between you and your husband. Many guy advice sites say it's not too late. Scan the following websites for articles pertaining to your situation; in addition, some offer free advice. Brandon Martin (*author of “Relationship Goddess” book) - http://www.yintegrity.com/ Evan Katz (*scroll down left column to sign up for e-mail blog subscription) – http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/ Christian Carter’s Advice for Women - http://www.catchhimandkeephim.com/ David Wygant, The Naked Truth behind Dating, Sex and Relationships (*e-mail subscription + free advice videos (*for women at bottom right of page)) - http://www.davidwygant.com/videos.html “How To Be Irresistible to Men”(scroll down a little to sign up for free 6-day mini course) – *actually written by a woman - http://www.000relationships.com/tomen/index.php Greg Michaels (*I just signed up for his, so not sure if he’s any good) -http://www.smartwomansguide.com/ "The Emotional Bond that Saves Relationships" (*good article based on research) - http://bizzymuse.hubpages.com/hub/The-Emotional-Bond-That-Saves-Relationships Eric Charles' "A New Mode" is one of the best advice sites with lots of free articles on his web page- http://www.anewmode.com/lifestyle/important-relationship-advice-receive/, but after you've signed up for his free e-mail subscription (*if you do), it will still have an annoying pop-up on his web page for "signing up". The only way to get rid of it is to go to your internet toolbar: Click Window Click Activity Click the web page title or web address It's annoying but worth it. Also begin to build a part of your life separate from him -- join an activities group that interests you and make new friends. Not only will this build your self-confidence, but it will make you more interesting to your husband since it shows your life isn't all about him and reflects a part of you he hasn't known before. Hope this helps. Good luck, Margret ;)

Margret. (not verified) replied 17 weeks 3 days ago

hello my name is margret and i have a realy hard relationship at the moment because my husband is always out and i think he is seeing another woman...im sad.