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The latest word in dirty weekends

Forget chintz-filled B&Bs or tatty traditional lodges; enjoy a little how's-yer-father in style. We've singled out several sensual boltholes, each with their own appeal and perks, and all ideal for a naughty break for two

Best place to don your Morticia wig
Malmaison Belfast
34-38 Victoria Street
Belfast BT1 3GH
Tel: 028 9022 0200
www.malmaison.com
The Belfast outpost of the Malmaison boutique hotel chain has a sexy gothic style; think moody colours and crushed velvet. Check into one of their 'rock and roll suites' (bands have, in fact, bunked there) named Samson and Goliath, with massive beds, free-standing tubs and plasma screen TVs. For an evening buzz, you need go no further than the hotel's bar for cocktails and an up-and-coming Belfast scene. Doubles from £99 weekends, £140 in the week

Best place to take the ol' ball and chain
Courthouse Hotel
19-21 Great Marlborough Street
London W1F 7HL
Tel: 020 7297 5555
www.kempinski.com/en/index.htm
While the Courthouse Hotel Kempinski has a great location (just off Oxford Circus), it's the building's unique past, as the former Great Marlborough Street Magistrate's Court, that makes it captivating. The court played host to such VIP 'guests' as Keith Richards (fined £205 in 1973 for possession of drugs and guns), Mick Jagger (defending a marijuana possession charge) and Oscar Wilde (the beginning of the Queensbury case was heard here). These days, you can lock yourself away in one of The Bar's remaining prison cells (available for private bookings, with capacity of up to 8 people - kinky!). Cuddle down in the sumptuous seats of the hotel cinema. Or book a table on the judge's bench, the dock or the witness stand at Silk, the fine dining restaurant housed in the old Number One court. Make a reservation and declare your love in the eyes of the law. Doubles from £175



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