Skip to Content Skip to Navigation

Welcome to iVillage.co.uk! Sign in or Join our Community

Want more iVillage? Sign up for our NEWSLETTERS

SHOP VIDEOS MESSAGE BOARDS COMPETITIONS BLOGS

Ways to make positive thinking work for you

Depending on your personality type, you may benefit more from different types of positive psychology to lift your spirits

Single view
View all

1 of 10
When positive thinking backfires

We’ve all been told at one time or another to think more positively. And no wonder, considering the evidence that it can help people feel happier and less depressed. But new research is finding that the practice can have the opposite effect.

Recent studies show that positive affirmations (such as 'I’m lovable'), positive psychology exercises (like listening to uplifting music) and cognitive therapy workbooks that encourage users to think about and dispute negative beliefs can actually make you feel worse if they’re not the right approach for you. Here’s what you need to know to make positive thinking work for you.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

2 of 10
If you suffer from low self-esteem

When people with low self-esteem repeated the statement 'I’m a lovable person,' they felt worse, according to a Canadian study from 2009. That’s because people with low self-esteem simply don’t believe it, the researchers said. And when the opposite thought creeps back in ('I’m not as lovable as I could be'), they feel like they’ve failed the exercise, and their mood sinks lower.

Try this: Acts of kindness may work better for people with low self-esteem. In a separate, yet-to-be published experiment of Canadians of all ages who completed an online study examining several types of positive psychology exercises, volunteers with low self-esteem who performed an act of kindness over a one-week period went from being clinically depressed to being nondepressed, says researcher Myriam Mongrain, a psychologist at York University in Toronto.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

3 of 10
If you think constantly about your problems

People who repetitively focus on the consequences and causes of negative moods (known as ruminators) don’t benefit from identifying and disputing negative thoughts (a positive psychology exercise common in cognitive therapy) without the help of a trained therapist, according to a 2010 study from the University of Notre Dame. In fact, this group had dramatically worse symptoms of depression after the exercise compared to ruminators who performed a different cognitive therapy exercise that left out the focus on negative thoughts.

Try this: Disputing negative thoughts with the help of a trained therapist may be more effective for ruminators. Learning a specific skill that helps them tackle their problems may, too. In the Notre Dame study of ruminators, college students who reported they were under stress were helped by exercises in time management and other academic skills.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

4 of 10
If you need other people to feel happy

Uplifting music usually helps to alleviate depressive feelings, but it made needy people feel worse in a study Mongrain published this summer. Psychologists believe this is because needy people derive their happiness from connections with other people. The researchers had expected that music would help needy people feel positive emotions without having to depend on other people, but it simply didn’t work.

Try this: Mongrain believes people who crave the company of others would benefit more from the guidance of a therapist than from self-help alone.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

5 of 10
If you think you are never good enough

If you are your biggest critic, it might serve you well to think about the things that are good in your life that you usually dismiss, and the people who helped bring those things about.

Try this: The same study that looked at needy people also found that highly self-critical people felt happier after thinking about five things they had to be thankful for over the course of a day. This exercise can help you shift the focus off yourself and help you appreciate the larger world.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

6 of 10
If you believe positive self-statements are unrealistic

Positive thinking that’s too broad may not be helpful, and may even make some people feel worse. Self-help books often ask us to repeat mantras like 'I accept myself completely.' The researchers who looked at positive self-statements in 2009 called such sweeping affirmations 'outlandish' and 'unreasonable.'

Try this: Swap 'global' statements with something more moderate and specific. For example, instead of 'I am a generous person,' you might try 'I select good gifts for people.'
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

7 of 10
If you always see the other side

For some people, focusing on an affirmation only being true feels false. It makes them feel they’ve failed to live up to standards when they can’t help thinking contradictory thoughts.

Try this: If you allow yourself to accept that sometimes you will have contradictory thoughts, the exercise may be more effective. In the self-esteem study, participants who focused on how the statement 'I’m a lovable person' was both true and untrue felt better than those who focused only on how it was true.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

8 of 10
If positive thinking isn’t for you

'Focusing on realistic thinking might be easier to train than positive thinking,' says Gerald Haeffel, the Notre Dame psychologist who researched ruminators. The goal of 'realistic thinking' cognitive therapy is not to turn negative thoughts into happy thoughts - after all, sometimes truly bad things happen. 'It’s simply to teach people to not think overly negatively about things,' Haeffel says.

Try this: Rather than turning negative thinking into positive thinking, you might want to encourage realistic thoughts; for example, failures are still failures, but they don’t make you worthless. And although your present condition might be bleak, it’s not hopeless, because you have the potential to change your behavior and situation to improve your future.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

9 of 10
If you’re low on mental energy

If you’re generally well adjusted (good self-esteem, not overly needy or obsessive), brief positive exercises can make a significant difference, Mongrain says. But, she stresses, some people, particularly those who suffer from a serious mood disorder or other form of mental illness, need guidance to feel better and to change the way they think. Undoing negative thinking requires mental energy, and many depressed people have low stores.

Try this: A skilled therapist can provide the extra 'cognitive muscle' or mental energy that some people may need to change their way of thinking, says Haeffel. When looking for a therapist to help you think more positively, ask if he or she has received training in scientifically supported treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy.
- Find out how positive you are with our quiz
- 10 essential winter health tips
IMAGE CREDITS:
- getty images
RELATED:
Prev page
Next page
Single view
View all

10 of 10

Next Up: 9 must-know facts about weight and depression
Yes, you can battle depression without succumbing to overeating and weight gain...

Prev page
Next page

Don't stress! Try these 30 calming foods thumb

Don't stress! Try these 30 calming foods

The top 10 hay fever remedies thumb

The top 10 hay fever remedies

The spiritual benefits of running and walking thumb

The spiritual benefits of running and walking

10 hidden health dangers in the food you eat every day thumb

10 hidden health dangers in the food you eat every day

You're late, lost and loveless - normal life or adult ADHD? thumb

You're late, lost and loveless - normal life or adult ADHD?

a baby's eye

Beach huts wallpaper and polka dots wallpaper in bathroom

an assortment of summer shoes

Special giveaway

Summer shoes daily giveaway

Blog entry

Gallery

Wallpaper of the week

Blog entry

Too fat to live?

Gallery

Gorgeous summer shoes