Susanne Remic is a primary school teacher, freelance writer and parenting blogger. She writes at Ghostwritermummy and Maternity Matters and in between all of that she regularly wins mummy of the year awards for running around after her two children, aged six and 19 months. This is her pregnancy blog: an online diary of her third pregnancy as she strives to overcome two difficult births, one angel child and one awkward toddler. Join Susanne as she shares every step of her journey from bump to baby!
We need to stand up for ourselves
By Susanne Remic on 06 Oct 2011
As a mother, I have already had to teach my children how to stand up for themselves in various situations. When another child pushes in on the slide, let it go once but if it happens again, tell them politely that it’s not their turn. When another child tells you your Cinderella dress isn’t real, tell them you don’t care - it’s your favourite. Don’t let people push you around. Don’t accept criticism that is unfair or personal and don’t let anyone force you into doing things you don’t want to do.
As a mother, I’ve had to learn how to stand up for myself too. I’ve spent too long being the type of person that accepts the government of others and allows myself to be pushed into corners. Its only afterwards that I’ve realised the error of my ways.
During my last pregnancy and the birth of my son, I allowed myself to be pulled in different directions by different people. I didn’t stand up for myself; I lost the ability to be the strong individual I wanted my children to be. I never even realised it. Since then, it’s become evident to me that changes need to be made in order for me to make a difference to my life. I can’t let others tell me what is best for me and my baby anymore.
I can’t let anyone tell me what I should be feeling.
Pregnant women: we need to stand up for ourselves. We need to make our voices heard. We need to accept help, guidance and support but we also need to feel a special trust for those who are providing it. If we aren’t happy, we need to speak up.
I’ve come to realise that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ birth. This time I will be having a planned section. This is the best option for me and my baby. That doesn’t mean that it will be perfect. The worries are circulating around me like a smog cloud and sometimes they blur my vision of the future. The questions I have jumbled in my mind are like crowds of people all vying for my attention, all wanting an answer I don’t have.
I don’t know what is going to happen. I don’t know what it will be like. I don’t know how I want it to be. I don’t know and sometimes that drives me crazy. I don’t know how to trust the people I’m supposed to trust, the people that are supposed to help me.
I do know that I need to be strong. I need to stand up for myself. And I know that I can do that.
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