What do those red-hot sex dreams really mean?

By Dr Pam Spurr

woman sleeping The 'Dream Doctor', Dr Pam Spurr explains the meaning of your X-rated dream-life

Her new book, Sex Dreams and Symbols - Interpreting Your Subconscious Desires, is available to buy now.

I'm sure you've found some of your nightlife between-the-sheets is surprisingly hot - and I'm not talking about having sex with your partner.

I'm talking about the sex dreams that all of us have from time-to-time. The content can be startling and sometimes completely unbelievable. Like taking to bed that colleague from work that in real life you think is a complete bore.

Like our ordinary dreams, our sex dreams sometimes reveal surprising things in their symbolism. The symbolism can show where your real feelings lie about someone - like your ex - and they can also have meanings completely unrelated to your sex life and sexual desires.

Your sleeping mind

When awake, for all sorts of reasons, our unconscious minds keep 'secrets' from us. Surprising desires, painful memories, and longings and wishes - that may or may not relate to our sex life - are kept under lock and key.

But when you fall asleep - and reach the dream stage of sleep - the deeper recesses of your mind are completely free of your daytime inhibitions. It's like a secret garden where suddenly the gates are unlocked and thrown open, revealing all such pent-up feelings, thoughts and attitudes.

This is why our sex dreams can seem to come from nowhere when actually they come from deep in your unconscious mind.

The most common sex dream themes

Here are three of the most common sex dream themes and what they often mean. Remember that your dream's unique to you and so use this as a guide. When trying to analyse the real meaning of a surprising sex dream always keep open-minded and ask yourself the following questions:

Is this really a dream about sex and sexual desires or does it symbolise something else - like a power struggle in a relationship, a lack of confidence, or feeling full of confidence, an unresolved conflict, etc. What's the overriding emotion of the dream? Is it one of pleasure, sexual confidence, a new sense of freedom, fear or anxiety. Are there any identifying details in your dream that give you clues as to who or what situation it's really about?