What is 'online grooming'

You've read the horror stories in the papers, seen the desperate parents on the news, but could a pedophile really trick your internet-savvy child? John Carr, the National Child Helpline's Internet Consultant explains more

How grooming starts

Adults with an established sexual interest in children will frequently go to chat rooms that are known to be popular with children.

They will generally keep up to date with all the latest fashions in clothes, music and sport so they can present themselves as being another child, or as someone who is in tune with children's interests. The adult might be particularly adept at identifying younger, more naive or vulnerable children in a chat room, and he will make them the focus of his attention. He will try to be their 'special friend'.

Lies and deceit

At first the adult will almost certainly lie about his age as part of a calculated process to establish a closer relationship with the child. He may be skilful at communicating with children. At some later stage he may, or may not, reveal the truth about his age. Typically, if he does it is because he believes he has developed such a close bond with the child that the child will accept it and not see it as deceitful.

Taking it off line

The initial contact may quickly move from an open, public or semi-public chat room, to a private chat room, then onto email, to SMS text messaging via mobile phones, instant messaging, and then to direct voice contact via a fixed or mobile phone, or even by voice over the internet.

There have been instances where the predator has sent a mobile phone to the child to ensure that the child's parents have no way of knowing about, or monitoring, contact between the two.