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What kind of emailer are you?
continued from page 1
Exactly
Now that email has been with us for a while a number of literary styles have evolved. Not all of them are good. In fact, some of them are crap. But you wouldn’t walk into a bookshop and expect to like every title on offer, so why should your inbox be packed with rattling good reads? These e-types slot neatly into categories. Here’s a handy, cut-out-and-trash guide to the typical office emailer, be they good, mad or plug-ugly.
He would be happier in the SAS but, damn it, the company needs him. He does the work of ten and succeeds in spite of the wishy-washy ineptitude around him. He operates alone and usually lunches at his desk on a bag of Salt ‘n’ Lineker and a Kit-Kat. Sandwich bars are for wimps. His emails are concise to the point of making little sense at all and make liberal use of
Exactly
Now that email has been with us for a while a number of literary styles have evolved. Not all of them are good. In fact, some of them are crap. But you wouldn’t walk into a bookshop and expect to like every title on offer, so why should your inbox be packed with rattling good reads? These e-types slot neatly into categories. Here’s a handy, cut-out-and-trash guide to the typical office emailer, be they good, mad or plug-ugly.
Norman e. Mailer
He would have a Booker, if only the literary world would look up from their Ivy main courses and take notice. Email is the perfect outlet for all that pent-up creativity. His maxim is ‘why use one word when fifty will do?’
He can turn a mundane report on the weekly meeting of the Purchasing Practices Steering Committee into something Proustian – long, profound and quite moving in parts but, frankly, an utter waste of kilobytes. If you must wade through his self-indulgent verbiage, console yourself with the fact that at least you haven’t paid £14.99 for it in Waterstones.
And-e McNabHe would be happier in the SAS but, damn it, the company needs him. He does the work of ten and succeeds in spite of the wishy-washy ineptitude around him. He operates alone and usually lunches at his desk on a bag of Salt ‘n’ Lineker and a Kit-Kat. Sandwich bars are for wimps. His emails are concise to the point of making little sense at all and make liberal use of
- bullet points
- to create
- the illusion of
- mercilessly efficient
- management
- of a brutally
- heavy
- work load.
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Created: 19/02/2004 Updated: 19/02/2004
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iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB