What kind of emailer are you?

These usually take the form of a) a graphic description of what she did last night or b) a graphic shopping list of what she’d like to do after work. But she is no celebrity-craving media tart because the sole addressee is usually her boyfriend.

Should you be thinking of dabbling in this bold new form of erotica yourself, a word of warning. Don’t date a sleazy little braggart, unless you’re happy about your predilection for, say, a bit of Greek being turned into a chain letter and passed on to a global audience. Anyone know what Claire Swires is up to right now…?

And finall-e
This last group has no style. They are too bone-idle for that. Their emails read like lowercase streams of consciousness – not a capital or punctuation mark in sight. Well, it's just so much bloody effort, isn't it? As for the lazy slobs who leave steaming squeezed-out tea bags on the worktop in the office kitchenette, well, now you know who they are.