How do I cope with a bullying manager?
'My immediate supervisor thinks I'm doing really well, but another manager has suddenly turned on me. She attacks me in meetings, humiliates me in front of people and criticises me in email messages, which she then copies to other people. I've seen her do this before. Every couple of months she puts pressure on someone until they resign or she sacks them. I've spoken to my boss, but as she is his superior he can't protect me. I'm feeling worthless, paranoid and upset at being forced out of a good job. Can scapegoating be prevented? Once it starts, is there any way to turn the tide? Is it best just to resign?' --Melissa
Here's my advice. Don't resign. If they are going to sack you, make them do it. You may get a pay-off. But start looking for another job right away. Just getting out there and realising that you have value will make you feel better. Your focus for now should be to consciously do things that raise your self-esteem. Maybe it's doing some community work. Maybe it's a new outfit. Maybe it's exercising more, or eating better or seeing your friends. Maybe it is all of the above. You are in charge of how you feel. The best way to win against the 'hers' of the world is to choose to treat yourself well. Recognise you have value and don't let this bully undermine you.
I've seen people win this way, but there are also other alternatives. You could keep a diary of all the bullying that goes on and inform your manager's manager. The more people who know about this unacceptable treatment the better, and, the harder it is for the bully to flourish. You may decide to make a formal complaint and go through your organisation's grievance procedure. But the important thing is to do whatever maintains your self-esteem and supports your self-worth. You shouldn't just suffer in silence.
Read more about bullying at work
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
