The bully at work: Jan’s story
‘The effects of bullying lead to a sense of helplessness, inadequacy, confusion, anxiety, tiredness, disorganisation at work, lowered self-esteem and depression.’ Dr. Maurice Lipsedge, Honorary Consultant Psychiatrist, Guy’s Hospital.
What bullies do
‘I’d been with the company twelve years when my new director arrived. From day one she just didn’t like me. It started with her trying to win over people’s regard by embarrassing me at meetings.’
Bullying is a deliberate attempt by a boss, colleague, or ambitious junior to control and undermine you. It is not a one-off incident; bullying occurs continually over a period of many months. Your self-confidence becomes eroded. That can happen pretty fast.
‘In front of my colleagues she’d say: “I have a problem with you, I can’t rely on you.” Privately, she’d hurl offensive verbal abuse at me.’
The bully is likely to verbally mistreat you with accusations, admonitions and threats. You may be quietly mocked in front of colleagues, and subjected to explosive outbursts behind closed doors. You feel frightened, angry, ashamed and embarrassed.
‘I began to hear of meetings that I wasn’t asked to attend. Emails relating to my work were circulated to everyone but me. Lame excuses were given and I didn’t know what to believe or who to trust.’
The bully may exclude you from the information loop and threaten your professional standing. You become isolated and suspicious.
‘She began to pile irrelevant work on my desk; the deadlines were impossible to meet.’
The bully may attempt to wear you down with overwork and absurd expectations. You become overwrought, jittery, and overtired. You toss and turn all night, suffer from nightmares, and have trouble dragging yourself out of bed in the morning. Your stomach is in knots, you have frequent headaches, and lose your appetite.
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Created: 22/08/2006 Updated: 22/08/2006
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