The bully at work: Jan’s story

The bully may accuse you of not trying hard enough, of producing poor-quality work, and of not pulling your weight. Your very presence may be under attack. You up your performance only to find the bully running with your ideas. You become paralysed with fear and question everything you do and say. The very thought of work fills you with dread.

‘She went around asking for evidence of my misdoings and making it clear that there would be rewards for spying on me. Everyone was anxious about their position and people started avoiding me. I became a bundle of nerves, couldn’t sleep and found myself uncontrollably bursting into tears; I felt miserable and was severely depressed. It became a downward spiral and I couldn’t see a way out.’

The bully may use his or her position of power to personally destroy you. You feel helpless and hopeless and every aspect of your life is negatively impacted upon. You are convinced it’s all your fault; that there must be something wrong with you.

Why Me?

‘I sought the help of the HR director but he told me it was my issue: “You’re single, lonely, you can’t fit in, you don’t have many friends.” I was devastated.’

Bullying always feels personal because it always is personal. For the bully at work, you are not really a person with feelings but an object to be manipulated and manoeuvred against. The motivations may lie in the character and personal history of the bully or they may derive from a hidden organisational agenda. Whatever the reasons, bullying tactics are always an act of cowardice. But, as Dr Paul Brown, Director of Adaptive Research at Penna Holdings plc, says, ‘The trouble is, it takes two to be bullied. The person who is being bullied begins to feel like the coward. It’s a complete invasion.’