The bully at work: Jan’s story

When the going gets tough?

‘I wrote letters to management and personnel and the responses were dire. I finally went to a psychologist who helped me tackle the situation from a business point of view. You need someone to tell you you’re not wrong.’

1. Get friendly help. Call on sympathetic friends who will listen and support you. Don’t try to cope on your own.

2. Get professional help. Counsellors, psychotherapists, and psychologists can offer sound professional help and guidance. Ask your GP for a referral. You can get telephone numbers from the British Psychological Society, the UKCP (United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy), and the BAC (British Association of Counsellors).

3. Knowing when to leave. With all the will in the world, some bullies are not worth the battle. Ask yourself why you’d want to stay in an organisation that runs on fear. If your bully is acting on an organisational agenda it’s not a battle you can win in any event. As Jan discovered…

‘I’d worked in this business for 25 years and it takes a long time to realise you’ve got to go. The lawyer I finally saw said, “You’re not fighting for your job – that’s gone – but for money. It’s only about money.” Once I understood that, the rest was just about letting go and getting on with my life. Two years later I’m still bruised but happier than I’ve ever been.’