Taking a sickie - the top 10 excuses

My child is sick
This is an area where employers will generally give leeway but if the claim is untrue, a lack of groundwork can cause embarrassment, if for example, the child you are supposed to be looking after rings the office to speak to you!

A morning in mourning
Unbelievable as it sounds, funeral attendance is a commonly-used excuse for absenteeism. Particularly unscrupulous employees have been known to invent a favourite aunt or uncle, but being able to stick to the story is vital. Indeed, it is not unheard of for a grandmother to have 'died' on five different occasions over a two-year period!

Waiting in
You've had a gas leak, the washing machine has flooded the kitchen, pipes have burst or there's a leaky roof. It might even but true but these particular excuses carry their own hazards. 'It's the Othello Factor,' says Judi James. 'Othello interpreted Desdemona's nervous body language as guilt instead of anxiety over his accusations. Even when genuine, the pressure of thinking you could be perceived a liar could make you sound untrustworthy.'

Travel hell
Bad weather during winter months, train delays, car trouble or an accident en route are all excuses that can be used. But make sure your story tallies with where you live. It's no good having a cheeky lie-in, trailing in two hours late then seeing a colleague who takes the same train as you sitting there, having arrived at 9am on the dot.

Tropical topics
Returning from holiday with a mystery ailment is a popular trick. However, be careful not to go over the top by claiming to have contracted malaria or some other potentially fatal condition. A simple 'I've picked up a bug' or 'I got bitten and need a day to absorb the medication' will suffice.

Wrong trousers, wrong day
While most of the above are excuses that can be pulled off with a certain element of confidence in their feasibility, there are some that just don't wash. Like the worker who rang in one day to tell his manager he 'thought it was Sunday so won't be in this morning'. Honest, but not very clever.