Couples + cash = crisis central?

Debt damage
Debt might damage your credit rating - but it can also damage your relationship. How can you prevent it from ruining your daily life?

'We're working, but every penny is going towards debts, household costs and mortgage. We've been through a spate of household disasters and are at a point where we're barely talking to each other because every conversation revolves around trying to pay another bill.'
cassiopeia

For others, the problem is the opposite - yet the stress remains the same.

'We are living off our overdraft every month. I find it so depressing, we're not getting on at all. I thought it was because I didn't love him anymore but it could be because of money. I keep things bottled up quite a lot; he says it's only money and doesn't stress like me.'
hayley2005

You might not want to, but it's vital to start a dialogue. 'Money is about value in every sense of the word' says Paula. 'How we spend it reflects our values in life. Is it for spending, saving or helping the world? Do we spend on luxuries or future investments? How much you spend on friends, family and partner also reflects how much you value your relationships. It can be an emotional minefield!'

Money talks... but can you?
Not talking can make things worse, but when can you talk money as a couple? Before it gets too late, for starters...

'Debt ruined my 16-year marriage because my husband couldn't face his £80k debts and failed business. His answer was an affair. Put your marriage first and talk to each other - if your husband won't talk, then take action for your part in the debts anyway.'
twokidsplus1

According to Paula, no time is too soon: 'Talk about money from a very early stage. Often, different attitudes to money reflect different attitudes to life. One of you may be a 'live for today' type, while the other is more cautious. The most obvious place you'll see this is in your finances, but the difference in attitude can affect different aspects of the relationship.'

Shared decisions go a long way to making you both feel important in the relationship and can prevent money issues from causing anger and resentment. Treat money like any other problem - don't bottle it up, get a conversation going and find a solution that suits you both.