Sex, lies and cash
New research by the Financial Services Authority (FSA), the UK's financial watchdog, reveals finance is the new taboo with three-quarters (74 per cent) of British couples admitting that money was the hardest subject to talk about with their partners. Staggeringly, one-third would rather discuss sex or their previous relationships than their bank balances. Find out how to tackle the topic of cash with your partner
The survey, which questioned over 1,400 people across the UK about their attitude to money, also found that despite an unwillingness to talk about money:
- over a quarter (27 per cent) of couples regularly argue when they try to discuss their finances
- about a third (32 per cent) of couples lie to their partners about how much they spend on their credit cards
- over a third (35 per cent) of British couples are kept awake at night worrying about their money situation
Commenting on the results, relationship psychologist and life coach Christine Webber says: `Not knowing how to bring up the subject of money with a loved one without sounding accusatory, mean, or overly serious, can cause incredible relationship stress. But there are some very simple steps couples can take to open up the lines of financial communication - it's vital that people start talking.'
Top tips for discussing your finances
Christine Webber, advises how to bring up the subject of cash with your loved one, without causing a row.
Timing - Never talk about money after 9 o'clock at night or when either of you have had more than one glass of wine.
Talk first then action - When making big financial commitments - such as taking out a mortgage, remember the following:
Fair contributions - Agree on how much is fair for each of you to put into a joint account per month - for all household expenditure etc. Then have separate accounts for personal spending. That way you don't have to feel guilty if you go mad in the sales, or have to have the latest iPod.
No raiding - Never raid the joint account to pay your personal credit card bill or to fund an impulse buy.
Don't leave it too late - Try to address money worries sooner rather than later. If you know that your partner is overspending, pluck up courage to speak about it before your finances get out of hand.
When talking about money - Try to keep calm and use the word 'I' a lot - rather than the word 'you' which tends to sound accusatory. So you would say: 'I would like to talk about money because I am concerned about our bank balance' rather than 'You are overspending, you are careless with money and you are responsible for us being in debt.'
Keep track of your spending - Both of you should get into the habit of keeping account books of your spending. When you customarily write down everything you purchase, you can see where to make economies. You also have a useful record every time you need to discuss money.
Quarterly reviews - Get into the habit of reviewing your finances together four times a year. Set a time limit for this of not longer than an hour - and reward yourselves afterwards by a trip to the cinema or a nice meal.
The www.moneylaidbare.info website offers clear jargon-free information to help people take the first steps to better financial planning.
printer friendly
send to a friend
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
