The confidence chameleon

Of course, people, like life itself, can change. And if you want to feel more confident, the starting point is with some serious self-reflection. Dr Brian Roet, author of The Confidence to be Yourself, suggests you tackle this in three ways:

1. Know yourself

Think about the sort of person you are. Think about your dominant personality characteristics. Then identify what motivates you; what challenges you; what frightens you; and what pleases you.

Examine what you want out of life, long term, as well as what you currently give, and take, from it. Put all this together to reveal a holistic picture of who you are.

2. Like yourself

Now, ask yourself, do you approve of the person you see? Or do you feel negative and critical and guilty about who you are? It's more likely that you experience a combination of all these reactions.

Write down all your good points. If this is too difficult to do alone, get a friend to help ? they may be able to perceive what you can't. Read over your list. Focus on it. Recognise it to be true. Remember it. Trust it.

3. Accept yourself

To find the meaning of confidence, and to get closer to achieving it, we have to, first of all, accept the way we are ? today. Tell yourself that you can still aim for improvements for the future, but that you are happy with yourself in the present.