The confidence chameleon

Appearances can be deceptive
When we look at our friends, family and colleagues, it's easy to think we can recognise confidence and lack of confidence. But we may be mistaken. What we understand to be self-assuredness could be masking just the opposite. "It's very easy to misread the way people come across," says Dianah Warman, a specialist adviser with the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development. She adds that, "what you see is not necessarily what you get."

Carol Gaskell of the Life Coaching Company agrees. She points out that loud, opinionated people may, in fact, fear that their views aren?t respected. The happy-go-lucky cruiser could be afraid of taking on responsibility, in case she fails. The workaholic perfectionist may fear not meeting the standards set by peers. The pushy bully may be scared of being disliked. The office flirt could be compensating for feeling undervalued. So all these signs may be pointing to hidden self-doubt rather than self-certainty.