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Christmas party slip-ups

by Leigh Ferrani

work drinksIt's that time of year again... I'm referring, of course, to that special season when mature professionals get completely plastered and grapple with their boss by the fire escape. When usually sensible employees take to tabletops and gyrate, Madonna-style, to Like a Virgin in front of their swaying colleagues.

If, unlike me, you've never knocked back a flagon of freebie champers and then, hanging on to your fellow worker's shoulder, earnestly slurred heartfelt compliments and declarations of your undying admiration, then you must have been witness to such shenanigans.

Enjoy the convivial ambiance and sophisticated interaction
Like good music and S Club 7, alcohol and work colleagues en masse don'tmix. Throw in a cheesy cover band, or a dodgy disco, and ties wrapped around heads and Christmas tree baubles hanging from ears will undoubtedly follow.

Leave with fond memories
Sam Braintree, 28, remembers with horror a Christmas do from a previous job with a marketing company: 'I must've overdone it because I woke up the next morning slumped on my workmate's bathroom floor with ladders in my tights. My friend informed me that I'd dragged half the male workforce under the mistletoe then fallen asleep in the corner, before being bundled into a cab. I was mortified.'

Face it; we are only flesh and blood, so there's no real shame in a bit of outrageous behaviour now and again. But be warned, if you value your dignity there's no riskier time than the festive season. Believe me, I know from personal experience. If I had a quid for the amount of times I've made myself the prize turkey at a work Christmas party I'd have enough cash to buy Lapland.

Conduct yourself with the utmost decorum and display your finery
Bryony Reece, a 30-year-old fashion executive from London certainly livened things up at her Chrissie work do last year: 'I'm not normally a big drinker but I must've downed more than a bottle of wine. I asked this bloke I've always fancied to dance, but I was so wrecked I fell over forwards and flashed my arse. The worst thing was, I was wearing a glittery thong under my miniscule skirt.'



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