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How to... Make small talk

Small talk can be a big challenge, but preparation and confidence are all you really need

From How To Do Just About Everything in the Office, in association with eHow (Collins, £9.99)

Steps

1. Practise. Converse with everyone you encounter: cashiers, waiters, people you're in a queue with, neighbours, co-workers and kids. Chat with people unlike yourself, from the elderly to teenagers to tourists.
2. Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogues. Everything is a source of information that can be turned into interesting conversations.
3. Force yourself to get into small-talk situations, such as doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and meetings at the office. Accept invitations or host your own gathering.
4. Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, your dislike of the bard is also a good topic for discussion.
5. Keep a diary. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and phone calls you made. That story about the time when the operator at the call centre misunderstood you could become an opening line.
6. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Tennis, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes - the more varied your list, the better.
7. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolour. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.
8. Be a better listener. Did your boss say that she suffers from migraines? Has your doctor just had twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.
9. Work on building up your confidence, overcoming shyness and banishing any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

Tips
Be yourself. Confidence and uniqueness are superb substitutes for comedic genius.
Keep a few exit lines in mind. For example, 'Thanks for the wonderful conversation, but now I have to give the impression I'm interested in everybody else'.

Warnings
Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. Similarly, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some.

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