How to be mentored: Sarah’s story

Men on top typically elect to mentor men. Like many organisational women, Sarah had a difficult job finding the right mentor.

'They’d organised a mentoring programme, brought in five male mentors, and of course the chosen few to benefit were the men themselves. So I set about trying to find someone in the outside world unconnected to the organisation. I was put in touch with a ‘professional executive mentor’ but quickly realised this was not quite the relationship I had in mind.'

This executive mentor was pursuing her own agenda.

'When she heard the name of my organisation her eyes lit up; she suggested that I arrange a meeting with my director so that she could sell in her services. The next time, she mainly talked about herself; I knew it was time to move on.'

What does it take to be mentored?
Sarah contacted a friend who put her in touch with an organisational psychologist.

'I knew I’d found the right person. She was wise and warm but very challenging.'

It’s the relationship. You’ve actually got to like the person. Respect is pretty important too.

'I really trusted her judgement.'

It takes trust. You’re going to be revealing masses about yourself, so you need to be sure this is someone you can trust.

'Over the next year we met once a month.'

It takes time. Commit yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

'She set writing and reading projects and I learned new ways of thinking and expressing myself.'