Work & Money 

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Office loafing: the art of looking busy

Of course, we?d never actively encourage you to skive at work. But, if you?re going to do it anyway, well why not discover some tricks of the trade that allow you to catnap your way through your career?

Messy means busy
`I usually get tonnes of paperwork on my desk, make it look untidy - as though I've been working like a dog - and sigh a lot.?

Kaycee123456

Polish your dedicated look
?Always have an important (and highly complicated) looking excel spreadsheet open on your desktop. If anyone wanders behind you while you?re surfing through eBay, you can quickly click over to the spreadsheet ? don?t forget to furrow brow and stroke chin thoughtfully to complete the look of dedication.?
Spuzza

Screensaver secrets
?Find a screen saver that looks like you?re downloading, If anyone asks why you aren't doing anything just point to your screen and say `I'm waiting for such and such to download?.

Can you tell I've been loafing for a while?'
BM

The jacket trick
?Have a jacket on the back of your chair at all times. That way if you?re somewhere you shouldn?t be it looks like you haven?t left your desk for long.

Volunteer for nice little projects that give you the opportunity to do lots of `research?, preferably the kind that no one has done before so you won?t be hassled for taking too long.

Make lots of notes about everything and type up a few once in a while.?
madkittykat

6 strategic skiving tips
1. If you're writing an email or a post for iVillage. Type it in a Word doc and cut & paste it when you've finished writing it. That way, if someone walks past and notices what you're doing, they will see you typing a Word document and assume it's work.

2. Make sure your computer isn't set to go `bing-bong? every time you have a new instant message!

3. If you use MSN messenger, keep it minimised then you can easily click outside the message box if someone approaches, then they won't be able to see the conversation. Remember `SOS? stands for `Someone Over Shoulder?. It is more effective than `BRB? if you have to suddenly ignore the person you're trying to instant message.

4. If you have to leave your desk to go to the loo or vending machine or for a fag break, take a file with you. It makes you look busy and like you're on your way to a colleague's office to discuss something important.

5. Sticking a pencil behind your ear ? always works for builders.

6. Oh, and remember not to look too quiet and busy... remember how mothers with small kids say if the kids are really quiet it means they're up to something REALLY bad.?
HTH

Assume the position
Keep your internet screen half size and never work at a workstation where people can walk up behind you without you knowing - try and position yourself at an angle so you can see them.
cl-notforwimps

Secret commands & assignations
I like the Command Prompt function (under Programs/Accessories). Type a message into the command prompt and press return. It sends an anonymous message to the recipient in the form of a command prompt. It's handy for sending untraceable messages like `Fancy a cuppa??.

Just type: net send username then start typing your message?
gatoula2004

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